TASKS OF GRIEF ARE LIKE SIGN POSTS that can be found along your journey of grief. You will carve your own path on this journey, accomplishing these tasks in your own order and at your own pace. Look at these as tasks, not stages. Tasks mean that you can have all of the feelings you feel, no matter what task you are facing. You can revisit tasks as often as needed or you may visit one of the tasks only momentarily. There is no order in which tasks must be completed and no time limit; they are only guideposts for your journey.

ACKNOWLEDGING THE LOSS. A natural defense mechanism for human beings is to initially deny the reality of a loss. At some level it is so unreal and at another all too real. You may find yourself searching for your loved one, or seeing them in crowds. This is normal. After some time has passed, you will encounter enough reminders of the loss, and begin to slowly believe that in fact, your loved one has died. Still, even after weeks, there may be momentary forgetfulness and
then finally a slow acceptance.

UNDERSTAND AND BEGIN TO MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAPPENED. The death of a loved one changes our lives in many ways. Making sense of the events that led up to the death and the death itself will take time and thought. Through this process your understanding increases as you grasp the full meaning of the loss. There is an emotional and intellectual acceptance about the reality of the loss.

IDENTIFY, EXPERIENCE, EXPRESS AND GET VALIDATION FOR ALL REACTIONS TO THE LOSS IN CONSTRUCTIVE WAYS. You may experience a unique spectrum of grief reactions including emotions such as despair, anguish, guilt, relief and sadness. Grieving fully involves identifying and expressing your thoughts and feelings. There are a variety of ways to express yourself. You may want to talk with a trusted confidante, write in a journal or log or physically express yourself through exercise or other movement. Healing involves receiving support and acceptance from yourself as well as others through this process.

COMMEMORATE THE LIFE THAT WAS LIVED. This task involves reviewing and remembering your loved one in their totality. Creating a concrete memorial such as a memory box or website, or sharing memories with trusted friends or family may be helpful to you. Commemorating includes recalling all aspects of the loved one, those you cherish, those you don't like and even those aspects you do not miss.

EXPLORE WHAT GIVES MEANING AND PURPOSE IN LIFE NOW. A journey into your inner self assists with finding meaning and value. It may be a journey of reflection, questioning, and perhaps, resolution. You may reflect on spiritual aspects of your belief system, personal values, and principles. Priorities may change or be reaffirmed as you gain an increased awareness of the paradoxical preciousness and uncertainty of life.

DEVELOP A NEW SELF-IDENTITY AND ADAPT TO LIFE WITHOUT THE DECEASED. What is your place in the world without your loved one? The question of who you are now can be both challenging and
freeing. Your roles, responsibilities, skills and abilities have changed. Perhaps you have grown and expanded yourself to meet new demands. This task describes your developing interests as well as the possibility of a new relationship with the deceased that goes beyond their physical
presence. This involves the integration of the memories and spirit of your loved one into yourself thereby allowing the relationship to continue although in a different format.

REINVEST ENERGY, LIVING AND LOVING IN A CHANGING LIFE. This involves shifting your energy from looking backward into the past, to living in the present and planning for the future. Over time you will discover people, activities and causes in which to invest. You may also experience love in a new way and can find satisfaction in a new, growing and ever-changing life that is full of meaning and value.